Don't let them steal your dream...

Look after your dream, or a thief will!

There's a lot of 'Dream Stealers' out there! After a week long training session, I'm high on its theme: Change, Success & Leadership... and most of all... I'm tipsy and Crazy so that I DON'T LET THEM STEAL MY DREAM!

There come times in our lives when we feel that we're loosing control of the direction of our lives, when someone's influencing our jobs, relationships or any other key aspects of our lives. I've written about it earlier also in --

• So, who’s managing you now-a-days?

• When someone else controls your life...

• Longing to break free!

Well, only a few could know what that feeling's like, and definitely, any person who's
on a job led by a 'Boss', one who's limited by resources, control-freak parents or dominating partners among other categories...

But, you see, it's not just that they control, but even those negative energies they release over our determination to achieve by displaying disturbing attitudes, negative words and strong actions as well. However, to overcome all this, one needs to actually KNOW what their DREAM is! Do you know what your Dream is?

Where Dreams Fail...
Many peoples dreams fail! Not knowing what ones dream is will only make them so accommodating that every other influence or a negative word will be accepted whining, or sometimes even without the slightest whimper. A few have such feeble dreams which can easily be replaced by another one. For a few more, the dream fades away with the passing of time, and for few others dreams not achieved will not matter at all.

Folks, get serious, cos we get a life only once. Wake up, realize your dream, and Go get it!

Get a little Tipsy and a lot Crazy!
Realizing your dream is just the beginning. You may want to get over with any hangover, but never get over the hangover of your dream. Get Tipsy (rather drunk) with your dream... and a Lot Crazy, so that no one would even dare to approach to steal your dream away! Even if someone does, you'll be so well guarding it, that you'll not allow it.

Realized your Dream? Look after your dream, or a thief will rob you off it!

Coward Strategists

Since more than half-a-year, I've been thinking about 'Strategy, Strategists and Manipulation, for which I'm finally getting a few words from other works to further put them up here...

Re-Viewing 'Cold Mountain' last night, one of my very favourite movies, I came across a good example of Coward Strategists...

The movie is set in a time of war. Talking of the country's rulers, here's a dialogue that talks of coward strategists: "They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'

Corporate Mafia & Human Resource Management

HR (and Administration) Departments are being pursued by owners and top management to operate as a Mafia. Well, this mafia is to specialize in a very niche area--

• To spy around the office so as to keep a watch on undercurrents
• Threaten and/or Create problems to retain employees who quit
• Tamper / Tarnish the careers of quitters by bad-mouthing
• To network with companies to find which quitter is joining where

It is very typical in a business segment where attrition is soaring that people run pillar to post trying to retain employees. Gone are the days when contracts/agreements/bonds used to create that block in employees' minds before they separated from their employers. The employees is literate (not quite enough) of their rights and responsibilities to tackle the agreement issues.

I would not generalize these practices to all companies, but I certainly opine that this may be a common practice in small organizations, organizations with closely-knit cultures and companies operating in niche markets. It's a real sorry state is how companies are trying to retain people. Instead of resorting to best practices and retaining people by offering a 'package of interest' (including a good combo of hygiene and motivators) to them, they're trying to retain by fear.

The impact of the whole exercise nevertheless does not result in retention, but it results in--

• Tension in the organization
• A hostile organizational climate & culture
• Tragic Impressions left on existing employees
• A chain reaction over existing employees to follow a cautious and hostile exit
• Poor (read pathetic) branding of the organization

Yet, many follow these practices knowing the results. It's somewhere a drive of the top management to 'TEACH A LESSON' to the people who quit and implant FEAR even in the minds of existing employees so they may think twice before they think of quitting.

Well, though the HR is empathetic towards the employees and can argue a case, HR management has limitations set by the CEO/Director, which then, fall out of the domain. In fact, if HR doesn't cooperate, then people definitely have their ways to pursue their causes...

A few companies I believe do not relieve such employees, and wait to know the name of company the candidate is joining and then call them up to threaten that they may be sued for dual employment of candidate. Even more pathetic is when companies use their influence with local authorities (police) and file and FIR against the employee possessing company assets, and Bingo! who's gonna look for physical evidence of intellectual assets... Phew!!!

These practices are quite disheartening, and all the more stressful to employees as 'COMPANIES ARE FOLLOWING THEM'.

The topic is open for your criticism / additions / suggestions...

History remembers Kings, not soldiers!

One strong belief among others I've learned through life experiences is that 'Each of us has a need to feel important'. This need to feel important drives us to find as many opportunities, small and big do many acts, activities, and sometimes even defy people and principles to reinforce to oneself the feeling of  importance.

Examples are when you see individuals defying their bosses, people taking a stand for a cause, daring feats and take risks to achieve some greatness among others. Times when we get involved in someone else's lives to guide (influence), go out of the way to help them... all of these are our little and big opportunities to make ourselves feel important.

Let's look at the constant power-play and influences at workplaces, where everyone struggles to clear the clutter to rise above the rest to feel their importance in the workplace... there's another cry out there... Nobody wants to be a pawn in someone else's game. They too, want to lead...

My point here... I's just an observation! History remembers Kings, not Soldiers. So, we all try to find small and big opportunities to win those little battles, and reassure ourselves of us, being important in the web of life connecting all of us... Are you a soldier... or a King?

Friends at Workplace? Not Done!

I always thought working with a good friend would be quite ideal, only till I actually landed on such a job! Then, I thought making friends at work is a very good way to strengthen professional relations at work till I actually tried it, and failed to do some work with a friend!

What remains at the end of it, is a hurt relationship, and a bad job! It could be a Lose-Lose or Win-Lose situation... or anything but Win-Win. I know that's debatable, but leaving all the exceptions aside, here I'm talking about being on two jobs in the same company and not partners in business like Larry Page & Sergey Brin, though I know even that equation has many screw-ups.

The building blocks for friendship and a professional relationship are almost the same, like good attitude, mutual trust and understanding and blah blah blah. In friendship there are times when one friend may even risk personal loss to help another, but in a professional relationship it may turn otherwise. What's the reason?

"Survival of the fittest" operates strongly in the corporate jungle. Well, when it comes to survival, any friend comes after 'ME'. It is not the fault of friendship which fails to work in the cut-throat corporate war. One may surely try to make it happen, but given the many other variables affecting individual performance like the bosses, peers, rumor mill, individual work-orientation, roles among others, it's a complex equation to manage. And yes, the moment you try to 'manage' a friend, YOU HAD IT! Moreover, the patterns of behavior displayed are so very new, different and perhaps even 'unexpected'. And change always gets us, right?

Of course, when you're at work, you can't afford to, and better not keep your focus on friendship, but keep it fixed on work delivery. So, get it clear - if you're engaged in a Talent War in the corporate arena, there's only win or lose, and there are performing teams. No Friendship. No Friends. That's actually not done!

Impressions we leave...

Who was your first love? Who was your first best friend? Who was your favorite school teacher? Which senior first ragged you at your college? Who was your first boss?

Do I hear you say: “Wait, I remember that!?”

We all do remember most of the answers to the above questions. It’s primarily because of the ‘fine’ lasting impressions they’ve left on our minds.

That’s how important the ‘first’ impressions are. Biology has it that all our body cells wear out regularly, including skins cells, muscle and even bone cells. They regenerate almost every 16 years (max time), but there are the Mind Cells, which live the longest. About a hundred years. They contain all our memories; and you’ll know when your mind cells wear out when you start losing your memories ;-)

Impressions have become so important these days, that ‘Impression Management has become a part of curricula at few important B-schools. For a few, it’s a course to attend for giving successful interviews.

Impression management gains more importance when we talk of its impact in the corporate circles and professionalism. Each individual has an important role to play in creating the right impression for an organization. As an employee, employer, corporate ambassador, organizational citizen, vendor, or even as a customer each individual leaves impression.

So, to make sure you’re giving the right strokes for the best impression:

• Educate yourself of the business etiquettes. Being ignorant about the same may even cost you dearly.
• Make this impression management an inherent part of your way of living. It’s quite important, cos you can’t make lasting impressions if you don’t believe and live it.

Presenteeism: Clear and Present Danger!

‘Body-present, mind-absent?’ – remember that school-day reprimand from that strict class teacher? Well, even if you don’t, you could probably look around your workplace to understand what exactly that means. In most offices, you will invariably find someone or the other who is “feeling down” with either a headache, a stomach disorder, grogginess or just feeling out of sync with the rest of the world. Outwardly, everything seems fine, but give them a chance to speak to them, and you’ll hear it all. Welcome to the world of a growing breed of professionals – the sort of who are present in office, but not at work! Of course, there is the other type, who’d rather not see the workplace (that could worsen their present condition!), and take a day off at the drop of a hat ;-). The trend of presenteeism is sweeping over India Inc.

Well, nothing to be surprised a great deal about, ‘cos it’s a global phenomenon, and it’s plaguing countries all over Europe and other western countries. But, what’s concerning is that while absenteeism can be easily identified from attendance records, “presenteeism” is not easily discernible. Keeping the differences aside awhile, the point to be driven home is that: In both cases, productivity at the work-places gets drained – visibly in case of absenteeism, invisibly otherwise. Traditionally, absenteeism and such related behaviours are seen as indicators for reduced employee morale and low motivation.

While absenteeism may be dealt with by placing an attendance policy in place, the solution for presenteeism ain’t that simple a formula. A greater problem on that front yet unaddressed is that managers are not ready to probe into the details, and just dismiss them. One of my friends from HR fraternity, Sanjeev Sharma, Zonal Manager, i-Process Services (India) Limited, feels that the reasons for presenteeism can be “stress at work, relationship with the boss, relationship with colleagues, noisy workplace, family problems... and sometimes there are genuine reasons like accidents, sickness etc.”

However, organizations need to become sensitive to employees’ work-life balance and deal with stress and health issues at the workplace.

Perils of poor leadership!

“A bad boss is like a disease of the soul.” Very strong words there from Chetan Bhagat, as written in his book One Night @ a Call Center. But why not, if good leaders are effective and influential, poor leaders can render a function, a process or a whole organisation utterly useless. One of the recent Hollywood flicks Pirates of the Carribean offers good leadership lesson on this front. Remember the mercurial pirate Jack Sparrow in the movie? Jack Sparrow is a pirate whose amazing leadership skills ensured he lost his ship, his crew and all his money.

In today’s business scenario, leadership gains importance with the ongoing intense restructuring of business models and organisational structures. Organisations are delayering in order to maintain a healthy structure; the classic principle of division of labour has become obsolete with multi-tasking being the order of the day. Tasks have to be accomplished in teams and are no more based on individual abilities. And ‘team leader’ is the proverbial corporate buzzword today. It is, therefore, an imperative that employers ensure that every executive on such positions are imparted necessary leadership skills, as their role demands.

Poor corporate ethics, intra-group, conflict, ineffective coordination, unpleasant interpersonal relations are a few traits of poor leadership. In fact, bad leaders can let down employee morale to dangerous levels. Given the talent-crunch environment, such leaders may drive efficient and effective employees out of the organisation, eventually creating more crises and virtually making a part of the organisation defunct. While these are the possibilities at theoperational level, at the strategic level, poor leadership can result in the death of a company.

Getting back to the book One Night @ a Call Center, Chetan further accentuates referring to a bad boss that “if you have one for long enough, you get convinced something is wrong with you...”

Well, then! Leaders, Companies, better wake up!

How True it is!

Forwarded by a friend: Manu N

Is it Thankless jobs or Thankless people?

They say it's a thankless job; but, think it over: is the job thankless or is it the people (boss, customer, subordinate, company, whoever) who are thankless?

'Say thanks!' I exclaimed at a person who almost passed by without a word after taking my help. A close friend of mine calls me a 'mean person' cos I have a habit of making many-a-person thank me. And for many, to whom 'Thanks' comes as a sneeze during allergies, I make it a point to say 'You must be!' and for that, another friend calls me a 'Grinch.'

But, you must take a look around yourself to find out all those people who just walk out on any help you've extended or a favour you've done with a casual acknowledgment or sometimes even without a word of thanks.

While this is only about personal stuff, the scenes at workplaces are rather rude; thanklessness is an understatement. A person I was interviewing lately offered this reason for a switch "I want to switch as my job is a thankless job." I was caught smirking "Boy, tell me bout it!" We all crib about our thankless jobs, but how can that be a universal phenomenon? Think about it, and if you sit to enlist all the professions of people who complain as thankless jobs... you'll have:

* Drivers
* Servants (House maids, Man-servants)
* Teaching
* Customer support
* Maintenance (Computers, Factory)
* Security personnel, Police
* Postman / Mailman,
* Housewives' (Ah!!!)
* Community workers
* Front-desk executives

The list goes on as you think in more detail...

Not just that, you'll have people from highest order like entrepreneurs to the lowest servant in his company / family who has the same complaint referring to a 'thankless job'.
We're living in a fast world, we talk of Just-in-Time deliveries and get pissed-off without a seconds thought and give it off to the other person for a minutes delay. We've become so impatient that we cannot heed to the voice of our family members, let alone a cry on the street.

A machine in a factory cannot halt beyond few minutes on an unfortunate accident costing a person's life, nor can a international live-telecast of a game on the injury / death of a participant. The show must go on... How utterly not concerned!?!

Take a second to thank someone. And when you do thank someone, do it with a realization, that they made something easy for you, or done something complete for you, even the slightest help, even for someone's very presence.

"No job is menial" a student (Indira Parthasarathy) of once argued in my class. And I stand by it. No job is menial; people are.

Don't give a chance to anyone interacting with you to complain about thankless jobs. Make them realize that the job is worth the while, and more importantly, that the people being served are thankful.

Be thankful.

The Inheritance of loss...

Having bought the book on October 28, 2006 and forcing myself to somehow finish it, I did (coincidentally) it on January 28, 2007.

Halfway, reading the book, you may feel a li'l bored ( not if you're a literature student) because of the author's eye and attention to details; however, once you've completed say about 200 pages, the story grasps your interest, and with the mastery of her writing, she inspires you to read till the end.

The ending leaves you spellbound, waiting to read further, but there are no more pages.

I am but compelled to declare my agreement to the reviews and comments of Salman Rushdie, and other authors...

Gary Shteyngart -- "If god is in the details, Ms. Desai has witten a holy book"

...boy, the spontaneity in her writing, meticulous work, sharp tongue!
Attached are a few quotes you may want to read:

• Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss?
• …love must surely reside in the gap between desire and fulfillment, in the lack, not the contentment.
• Love was the ache, the anticipation, the retreat, everything around it but the emotion itself.
• In her attempt to cancel out one humiliation she had only succeeding in adding another.
• Undignified love, Indian love, stinking, unaesthetic love
• Study—the only skill he could carry from one country to another.
• Pusillanimity and his loneliness had found fertile soil
• …a terrible groan issued from between the whimpers that he was shocked his sadness was so profound.
• Purity of answer was a false quest.
• Nobody could be sure ho much of the truth had fallen between languages, between languages and illiteracy;
• He realized truth was best looked at in tiny aggregates, for many baby truths could yet add up to one big size unsavory lie.
• (Love) Before one knew it one could slide into areas of the heart that should be referred to only between social equals.
• A bit of pretense to raise her above her life (social class)
• Oh yes, he (the cook) awaited modernity and knew that if you invested in it, it would inform you that you were worth something in this world.
• One’s involvement in other people’s lives gave one numerous small opportunities for importance.
• …the lightning shamelessly unzipped the sky…
• …how delicious the pretense of objective study, miraculous how it could eat up the hours. (Sai & Gyan’s romance)
• On the strength of those pushing behind, and with the momentum of those who went before, they melded into a single being.
• …the leaders harnessing the natural irritations and disdain of adolescence for cynical ends;
• Perhaps that’s why they had been so happy to learn a new tongue in the first place: the self-consciousness of it, the effort of it, the grammar of it, pulled you up; a new language provided distance and kept the heart intact.
• After all, even on clichéd phrases, you could hoist true emotion.
• What was a country but a idea of it?
• …the way to coax strength as to pretend it existed
• Everyone had to accept imperfection and loss in life.
• How could you have any self-respect knowing that you didn’t believe in anything exactly?
• In this life… you must stop your thoughts if you wished to remain intact, or guilt and pity would take everything from you, even yourself from yourself.
• A human can be transformed into anything.

That's all!

Where is the blessing of my neighbour!?

When people carry your name on their lips, are they cursing you or blessing you?

I know of more than a hundred people who must be unhappy with me and cursing me at my back (a few on my face too), and it is a sad thing to know that people are talking about you, and that is for no good reason... They're not blessing your name but cursing it. Without entering into the 'people talk, let them talk' mode, I think everyone need to introspect why is it that people are cursing and not blessing your name?

Think of it and one may actually realize that the intentions / trigger behind the actions which resulted in that gossip full of despise and cursing may have been avoided or dealt with in a better way. In plain words, perhaps, one deserved that cursing...

Huh! One should beware of own actions... lest you pile heap of curses from everyone around on your name, all your life...

Next time you're up to something that's gonna impact others, ask this question: Are people gonna bless my name or curse my name?

Do you really have the blessing of your neighbor?

Have mercy on Orissa...

Lord, mercy! Mercy for the suffering, the killers, the schemers, the rulers, the onlookers and all that are a part of it... Have mercy on Orissa!

The past 3 weeks, we've been hearing of the stories of people suffering in Orissa. Many tribal, and backward class people are suffering down there, because they are known as Christians, and they are sharing their faith and increasing. I have not been to Orissa in person to witness any suffering, but here's what I've gathered from a Social worker, who went to survey the place:

"Some hundreds or thousands are spending their cold wintry nights in forests out of fear of life. They're scantily clothed, their little belongings are no more. They're eating whatever comes their way, like the animals of the wild."

We all know of the gruesome murder of Graham Staines and his children way back in 1999. Even that incident came after such clashes took shape. Take a macro-picture of the series of events that have raked this up since December 24, 2007 and one will start to question why one Swami Laxmananand Saraswati, a VHP Leader bereft of any peaceful work must intervene with his group of body guards in the Christmas festive arrangements, and the ensuing arguments which have resulted in a small clash, which is now known as an attack on the Swami's life.

To read this Swami's version, go to The Sunday Indian Magazine link (You may have to register for free): http://www.thesundayindian.com/13012008/storyd.asp?sid=3667&pageno=3

What happened next is that some hundreds of people got killed (official figures are some 50) and 54 Churches destroyed (this may be outdated, and the official figure is something). That's not the end. Many more are targeted still in many other places. The fear still haunts people in Orissa. The tension is not over yet.

Is a Swami's life worth some 100 (hundreds of) other people's lives? What saint can propagate or impel the killing of people and destruction of Holy places (read Churches)? What human can allow innocent people's houses to be torn down? Are these are our leaders? Do we protect such lives which can breathe only Devastation?

In the narrators own words, "It was all a well-schemed idea to attack and destroy churches." Even the authorities seem party to it when they say that nothing in there is seriously wrong, and the local police is not allowing outsiders to get into the affected places. Well, they may be doing that to stop political unrest; damn the political leaders, but, what of the people dying?

Ask a question to any VHP Leader "What are you trying to do?"and pat comes the reply, "Protecting one’s religion should be a person's fundamental right. To attack someone’s faith is violence. Anybody indulging in violence should be punished." ( Vishwa Hindu Parishad General Secretary Dr Pravin Togadia's remarks to The Sunday Indian Magazine). How about applying that to all Indian' non-Christian organizations abroad across the world, Mister?

Christian missionaries have long been known for their steadfast Spirit of service and devotion to serve the poor and needy. The closest and greatest example being Mother Teresa, who poured out her life for India. If someone is touched by the love she has shown and accepts the faith she professes, should the person be harmed, or should Mother Teresa be killed? Or should her Ashram be burnt down because she is converting?

Here are some answers to people who think Conversion is what Christians are up to and make that a reason for hooliganism and destruction--
First: No one can convert another person. All a Christian does is to share the love s/he has received in Christ, and if that love touches the person's life, s/he chooses to convert. That process of transformation is Spiritual, not physical. Nothing else matters. Period.

Second: The Church of Christ is not made of walls that anyone can go and destroy. It is made of people. As long as Christ lives in people's hearts, the Church is alive. And the foundation of Church is the Solid Rock - Jesus Christ.

Can someone stop that? Can VHP? Or any other organization by terrorizing people with their attacks? At least I don't think so. More the oppression, more the fight to break free!

Lastly... Orissa is in news lately for such attacks, but there are many such incidents happening across India which do not receive any attention from media nor the authorities. We don't want to go converting the criminals involved in these attacks by a rod. Rather, we just unite in praying for all that they may receive forgiveness, and that the sovereign Lord may have mercy on them!

May God give wisdom to those in authority and all the ministers to rule India in a just manner. May God provide for the Suffering and also bless the persecutors! May all come to know His Saving Grace! In Jesus' name... To all who read this -

"Jesus Loves You."
"JESUS SAVES."