January 31, 2007

Lover of love, is it?

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love... but the greatest of these is love"

"I want to have all the experiences in the world," proudly I used to tell myself. But, I found that it's a truly humbling experience when life takes us through well-chosen situations shaping us up. It makes us utterly naked to our very eyes so that we realize how lacking we are. In that knowledge we can see that it's our hallucination that we see ourselves complete in parts within the infinite incompleteness of the whole person of ours.

So it is with me, that I always wanted to be the greatest lover of love, but, I always fall short of it. The more I want it, the more do I realize my lack of it. While it is purely a mattter of one's will, guess I'm not evolved enough to be a lover of love fully!

I lost my (paternal) grandmother few days ago, and as I stood beside her burial place, I couldn't stop myself from verbalizing my reflections about her...
"If I had to count the number of hours I spent with my grandmother, it would not even be a complete day. But I remember how she used to hold my face with both her hands and kiss me. She loved me very much. We did know of her suffering (loneliness), but didn't do much to help her. I thought I'd give both my grannies a ride in my car, but couldn't. Our hearts couldn't show so much love for her. We're happy she passed away. Praise God."

What I didn't say was "Many people disliked her, because of which she was neglected. I do not know what she's done to hurt them. But, if God was in their place, He would have easily forgiven her. Hm, but we are humans."

Now that she's no more, regret is what's left.

Yet, this realization is a temporal thing.
This too shall pass away... To naught.
(I hope not)

"We must look deeply enough into one another's souls not only to know what makes us happy, but also to understand what causes us pain." - A Rabbi parable

Is that what a lover of love does?

January 5, 2007

If you want to know the end, look at the beginning

A year of failure, a year of success; A year of losses and profits... a year of new-found love, friendships, a year of heart-aches... uh!

As another year goes by... perhaps it's the opportune moment to make a new beginning, for, hope springs anew!

I am reminded of Mark Sanborn's, 'The marks we leave', that in the sands of time, every thought and act of ours, the things we've said, the people we've met; the love we shared, the hearts we've bruised... we've left impressions all the way. The world keeps spinning and life goes on. The many demands of people around us, our untold plans to achieve greater heights, the never ending to-do lists... and for many a soul, the ghosts of their past still haunt them, and keep them fast forwarded in life. Whoa! 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week seem too short a time to live life fully at our own pace. Isn't it?

Can you help it? Guess not! Nevertheless, to live life to the fullest in the given time, I believe, we need to stand still for once and take time to reflect on the time that has passed by, and just look at how we've lived it. Perhaps, that'll help us know if we've been walking straight to where we need to be heading towards or not. Accordingly, we can correct our ways, and chart our way ahead.

And, when you plan ahead, do it wisely. Take help if required... remember that quote: 'Smart people ask for help'. One of my favorite speaker Bishop Jakes opines that we are not self-sufficient, and in our ignorance, we might even destroy ourselves. The wise king Solomon said, 'In all your ways acknowledge Him (Lord God), and He will direct your paths'.

So, kick-start the new year by kicking away the ghosts of the past and make a new beginning, in a new partnership with Him for a great ending... can't believe, look at the (new) beginning!