July 24, 2010

Consumed with thoughts...


Consumed with thoughts! Emotions held up, barricaded! Expressions limited! Till when?!? The day it breaks loose, it'll gush forth like a raging tide... showing no mercy... it'll destroy like jealousy that knows no bounds... it'll end in cracks.. it'll end in tears.. bitterness... it'll end in destruction.. it'll consume everything, my all! I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No I don't want to express a thing! No whimper, nor whisper. No voice, no utterances. No speech, not a word, no pen to paper. No verbalization of thoughts! No touch, no song to make me cry... No tear to shed, cos there's none left of a heart to break... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No, I am not OK! You know it, yet you choose to ask. I am already confounded, you confound me more. You put my heart and mind at a thorough battle. The conflict's renewed everyday. Reason departs from me.. It's hopeless... I want to call it quits.. but I trust in the power of love, hope's afloat.. I am confounded with thoughts!!!

I don't see the spark in our conversations.. no hope in your eyes... no charm in your touch. Your voice doesn't carry your love to me anymore.. Your hands don't reach out to me... to hold me close, draw me near... I do not understand.. Is it not worth a try... I want to try... Something's vanished! As I try to figure it out.... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

Love.. I can only give.. I cannot take what you can't give.. I don't need what you can't offer... but I can give.. Even through a conflict I will give.. Tis my pleasure, my joy.. I see that smile you wear.. I know I was making it for you.. I had much to do with it.. I want it to be mine.. I want you to be mine.. but, what's not offered to me can’t be mine.. I fail to understand... I’m down with thoughts…

Soon enough you'll be gone.. Not for me, for yourself.. You'll take away all you have.. you have no memory saved of you and me.. but, can you take away yourself from my heart? That you cannot.. that you’re not allowed… what of the impressions you left that will show? I’m so lost in thoughts…
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