March 8, 2009

The Devil's beatitudes

So the devil says:

Blessed are those who are too busy to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in church, for they are my best workers.

Blessed are those who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked, for I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy, for they may stop going to church. They are my missionaries.
Blessed are those who are very religious and get on everyone's nerves, for they are mine forever.

Blessed are the troublemakers, for they shall be called my children.
Blessed are those who have no time to pray, for they are easy prey for me.

Blessed are the gossipers, for they are my secret agents.

Blessed are those critical of the leadership, for they shall inherit a place with me in my fate.
Blessed are the complainers, for I'm all ears for them.

Blessed are you when you read this and think it's about others, for I've got you.

(I don't know the author, if you do please drop in a line. Thanks in advance)
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