September 9, 2010

Relationships & The Great Expectations Theory!

'Expectations', my friend Ashish Chandel, while we sat at a Bar some 6 years ago said, "are the key to all problems. We expect, and then when they are not met we get disappointed" he continued... "Do not expect," was the concluding suggestion he made.

I, like most of you, had an opinion about it. My opinion about expectations though at first was as AShish's was further refined by three things:

  1. First, the Christian teaching that we should not owe anything to anyone except love.
  2. Second, the Services Marketing Management Service gaps analysis that overpromising and underdelivering leads to customer dissatisfaction, delivering what is promised leads to customer satisfaction, and underpromising and overdelivering leads to customer delight!
  3. Third, the personal experiences - application, errors and learnings!
I keep having these conversations about expectations with almost all of my dear friends, cos they too come to realize the same fact. And here's what I advise- "It's not only about not expecting! Rather, expect worse! So, when it comes to pass, when it's not as worse as you'd expected, it'll help you be in a neutral state if not in a delightful state of mind."

A friend recently questioned this saying, it's important for anyone in a relationship to be fair. And it's fair to expect from someone with whom you're in a relationship. It's like opening a Pandora's box and never-ending to start talking about all those details in relationships - which mostly are made of so many little things that make big impact. I absolutely agree with the statement that one must be fair at all times! 

Fairness is an equation to manage! Be fair to others, try to set the right expectations - you have a choice there - you can set some expectations and give less, give exact or give more! Meet expectations - do unto them as you would have them do to you (only the good stuff)

When you expect something, expect as minimal as possible, be prepared for the worst.. do not expect so much that if the favor's not returned, or when it's rather returned with less enthusiasm, you end up in an emotional turmoil. That's being fair to yourself! 
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