February 25, 2009

Emotional atyachaar, or emotional prostitution?

Talking of love, marriage, relationships, it's a constant maneuver (rather a struggle if you like it) for something still better, but when it's been sometime you've been with the same person, when the highs are not-so-high and they become lows, and things don't seem to work between two persons, the reasons why you both should be together grow thin and worsen.. yes, that's when you say 'the spark is missing'.

Sparks, ha? Here's an interesting statement I came across lately from the movie 'The Accidental Husband', where Uma Thurman, acting as a counselor advices
"...Sparks cause fire, and fires will burn your house down. So, if you keep searching for good old sparky you know, you're sure to get burned. Trust me on that..."

OK. The spark is missing... what next? Time to move on.. emotional atyachaar? I'd call it emotional prostitution. Dean Sherman, in his book Love, Sex and Relationships gives a clear explanation of this phrase-- 'A prostitute is someone who's willing to shave sex with anyone who is willing to pay for it'. They have no other criteria whatsoever. Similarly, he goes on to say 'An emotional prostitute is a person who's willing to date anyone who will pay him or her a little attention. The person's emotions are out there for taking'. That's how a emotional prostitute gets paid.

But, where does this all end? Robert Schuller, the possibility-thinking guru opines, the antidote to emotional prostitution is something that's termed 'Stick-to-it-iveness'. He says 'Stay through it through thick and thin, and you'll see through eventually.' Given that we live in a fast world, and demand instant results, this certainly looks like a hard task. But, beware, if you keep looking for good old Sparky, you're sure to get burned. Well then, commit yourself to action through all the happening and the not-so-happening times in your interpersonal relationships, and you'll eventually see it through.. Don't give up. Don't become a emotional prostitute.

P.S.: Special thanks to Ryan Scott, who'd gifted me Dean Sherman's book on his visit to Faith Academy in 1998. It's been such a great positive influence.
P.P.S.: By the way, emotional
atyachaar is the latest hit song from the movie Dev D in India.

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