Test of endurance...

Heard of the story of a caterpillar, which did not make it through the process of metamorphosis? You know why it failed? Apparently, a person sitting in the lawn noticed the caterpillar struggling it's way through.. and out of the kindness of his heart, tried to help it by slightly cutting open the cocoon/ chrysalis. Don't know if the caterpillar would have or wouldn't have made it's way through. But, the person certainly did no good to the caterpillar, which would have been one of the most enchanting colorful butterflies!

This also is very common among the human species.. Some are very kind.. especially toward loved ones.. We would at times want to shower so much love, that it might even kill the other one. Death by love, ha! Doesn't sound nice, anyways.. It's a common belief that 'survival of the fittest' is a jungle law is not applicable  the human species.. but matter of the fact proves otherwise..

We all have our tests of endurance from time to time, and that's our metamorphosis process. Some fail, some succeed, and the ones that succeed certainly are adorned with success, a charming and glowing personality in unique ways...

When it comes to your loved ones, who's going through such a test of endurance. Be loving; loving enough not to shower so much kindness lest you hinder the caterpillar from coming out with flying colors.. That's a lesson that I learned.. and I share it.. not that someone didn't know.. but just reminding it.. as my friend Manoj Albert did remind me.

Relationships & The Great Expectations Theory!

'Expectations', my friend Ashish Chandel, while we sat at a Bar some 6 years ago said, "are the key to all problems. We expect, and then when they are not met we get disappointed" he continued... "Do not expect," was the concluding suggestion he made.

I, like most of you, had an opinion about it. My opinion about expectations though at first was as AShish's was further refined by three things:

1. First, the Christian teaching that we should not owe anything to anyone except love.
2. Second, the Services Marketing Management Service gaps analysis that overpromising and underdelivering leads to customer dissatisfaction, delivering what is promised leads to customer satisfaction, and underpromising and overdelivering leads to customer delight!
3. Third, the personal experiences - application, errors and learnings!

I keep having these conversations about expectations with almost all of my dear friends, cos they too come to realize the same fact. And here's what I advise- "It's not only about not expecting! Rather, expect worse! So, when it comes to pass, when it's not as worse as you'd expected, it'll help you be in a neutral state if not in a delightful state of mind."

A friend recently questioned this saying, it's important for anyone in a relationship to be fair. And it's fair to expect from someone with whom you're in a relationship. It's like opening a Pandora's box and never-ending to start talking about all those details in relationships - which mostly are made of so many little things that make big impact. I absolutely agree with the statement that one must be fair at all times! 

Fairness is an equation to manage! Be fair to others, try to set the right expectations - you have a choice there - you can set some expectations and give less, give exact or give more! Meet expectations - do unto them as you would have them do to you (only the good stuff)! 

When you expect something, expect as minimal as possible, be prepared for the worst.. do not expect so much that if the favor's not returned, or when it's rather returned with less enthusiasm, you end up in an emotional turmoil. That's being fair to yourself! 

Lord, grant that we

Lord, grant that we may hear You speak; For truth within our hearts we seek.. odb

Consumed with thoughts...

Consumed with thoughts! Emotions held up, barricaded! Expressions limited! Till when?!? The day it breaks loose, it'll gush forth like a raging tide... showing no mercy... it'll destroy like jealousy that knows no bounds... it'll end in cracks.. it'll end in tears.. bitterness... it'll end in destruction.. it'll consume everything, my all! I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No I don't want to express a thing! No whimper, nor whisper. No voice, no utterances. No speech, not a word, no pen to paper. No verbalization of thoughts! No touch, no song to make me cry... No tear to shed, cos there's none left of a heart to break... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No, I am not OK! You know it, yet you choose to ask. I am already confounded, you confound me more. You put my heart and mind at a thorough battle. The conflict's renewed everyday. Reason departs from me.. It's hopeless... I want to call it quits.. but I trust in the power of love, hope's afloat.. I am confounded with thoughts!!!

I don't see the spark in our conversations.. no hope in your eyes... no charm in your touch. Your voice doesn't carry your love to me anymore.. Your hands don't reach out to me... to hold me close, draw me near... I do not understand.. Is it not worth a try... I want to try... Something's vanished! As I try to figure it out.... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

Love.. I can only give.. I cannot take what you can't give.. I don't need what you can't offer... but I can give.. Even through a conflict I will give.. Tis my pleasure, my joy.. I see that smile you wear.. I know I was making it for you.. I had much to do with it.. I want it to be mine.. I want you to be mine.. but, what's not offered to me can’t be mine.. I fail to understand... I’m down with thoughts…

Soon enough you'll be gone.. Not for me, for yourself.. You'll take away all you have.. you have no memory saved of you and me.. but, can you take away yourself from my heart? That you cannot.. that you’re not allowed… what of the impressions you left that will show? I’m so lost in thoughts…

Your marks have faded away.. are you fading slowly too? Is this it? Can you blot out your image from our past? No you can’t, Nah! You trod without a bother.. now everything’s a matter… but you have left more than marks.. Disquietude remains—no leftovers of love… O will I ever see them again? Will I ever have the bliss? Will I ever have you? I’m so lost without you…

I won't be angry! I'll not show you that side of me.. I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve... I will not… I’m consumed with thoughts.. I'm thinking of you.. I want you.. and I don’t want you… I'm divided, I’m contradicted! But if I had to – I’d seize the moment, I’d secure you… never let you go..

Oh.. if there was any other way.. I’d put to rest all that wasn’t you.. to live life fullest with you.. could’ve celebrated forever you..! Would’ve made life extra-ordinary.. I don't want to be caught up with ‘you - of the past’. I want it recreated.. today.. I want the present.. I want the present - you! And I won’t be consumed anymore!

Consumed with thoughts...

Consumed with thoughts! Emotions held up, barricaded! Expressions limited! Till when?!? The day it breaks loose, it'll gush forth like a raging tide... showing no mercy... it'll destroy like jealousy that knows no bounds... it'll end in cracks.. it'll end in tears.. bitterness... it'll end in destruction.. it'll consume everything, my all! I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No I don't want to express a thing! No whimper, nor whisper. No voice, no utterances. No speech, not a word, no pen to paper. No verbalization of thoughts! No touch, no song to make me cry... No tear to shed, cos there's none left of a heart to break... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No, I am not OK! You know it, yet you choose to ask. I am already confounded, you confound me more. You put my heart and mind at a thorough battle. The conflict's renewed everyday. Reason departs from me.. It's hopeless... I want to call it quits.. but I trust in the power of love, hope's afloat.. I am confounded with thoughts!!!

I don't see the spark in our conversations.. no hope in your eyes... no charm in your touch. Your voice doesn't carry your love to me anymore.. Your hands don't reach out to me... to hold me close, draw me near... I do not understand.. Is it not worth a try... I want to try... Something's vanished! As I try to figure it out.... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

Love.. I can only give.. I cannot take what you can't give.. I don't need what you can't offer... but I can give.. Even through a conflict I will give.. Tis my pleasure, my joy.. I see that smile you wear.. I know I was making it for you.. I had much to do with it.. I want it to be mine.. I want you to be mine.. but, what's not offered to me can’t be mine.. I fail to understand... I’m down with thoughts…

Soon enough you'll be gone.. Not for me, for yourself.. You'll take away all you have.. you have no memory saved of you and me.. but, can you take away yourself from my heart? That you cannot.. that you’re not allowed… what of the impressions you left that will show? I’m so lost in thoughts…

Thank thee Lord, for my father

Thank thee Lord,

For the sheer presence of my father

The strength that he sports ever

The shelter that stands always stronger

The warm wings that hold us dearer

If some worth in me appears to be

The honour to him all be

Words to thank him, I have none

Proud smiles for him, I have won

Thank thee Lord,

For the wisdom he shares

The great strains he bears

The sheer person that he is

For in him, I see the person in you,

Because of him, I love you!

(In the pic: Mom & Dad with my new born nephew - Blesson)
Nominated this post on www.blogadda.com for the Father's day contest. 
Below is a Pringoo merchandise of my choice...

Of storms and good weather

For some to enjoy good weather, some will have to face the storm..

'Cyclone Laila has left coastal Andhra in tatters', said the newspapers. I've been watching news about it since 2 days and it has killed 16 people. I logged to facebook in the afternoon, and a friend tweeted 'enjoying the great weather'. This friend lived about hundred kilometers away. It was such a paradox - suffering on side, joy on the other. The impact of storm is so light where my friend lived - that it was pleasing weather.


How similar is it for life situations? When we were children - our parents would face the storms so that we would be far away from the impact and rather enjoy what's going on. When it comes to teenage/ adulthood - someone will have to compromise or sacrifice so that many others can enjoy, be happier... 


Living is certainly a balancing act - of bearing the brunt of a storm or enjoying the good weather!

Comfortable with distractions!?!

Distractions.. there have been many of them.. and I've been finding comfort in them - now wonder I haven't been on my blog though I've been wishing to write since so long..

Just had a little skirmish with a friend over the distraction he wanted; and that is when I realized how irritating it is when someone gets distracted while you wanted them to do something. Nobody likes getting distracted and it leads to personal regret as well. In fact - we all have the tendency to make all the merry while distracted - and then - be lost in childish grief when one realizes how distracted s/he was! However, I realize that sometimes distractions can't be wished away and some are even wished for - but it's important to know they always don't have to bring a negative impact.

Some distractions just take us away with a hearty approval - and mine have often kept me away from many close friends to achieving short-term goals, from timely completion of assignments to leading a bad lifestyle among others - and of course a lot of time wasted. But, look at the positive side - I've made new friends, tried out new stuff, fell in and out of few passions and more.. As I trace my steps back - I want to shake off all distractions, while a few add-ons remain - the positive strokes.

Are you caught up in distraction too? If yes, be determined to trace your steps back remember -what matters in the end is if you let the distractions confound your goals; or if you want to shake it off and resolve it.

Still carrying it?

I have been too busy to blog since about a quarter now.. and though there have been many things I'd wanted to write, haven't really been able to find some time to do it..

But, as we enter the new year-- here's a small lesson from daily life (based on a zen story) that I want to share which can help others..

Two monks were traveling when they came across a river that has to be crossed by walking / swimming across. They meet a woman who requested if one of them could carry her across. Being a monk, one of them hesitated, while the other took her on his shoulders and got her across the river. She thanked the monk and they went their ways.

After a while, when both the monks were walking together, the monk who hesitated couldn't hold himself from asking - "How could you, being a monk, who took vows to avoid contact with a woman do such a thing - that you carried a woman on your shoulders?"

The second monk replied - "Brother, I carried her only till the other side of the river, but you are still carrying her."

Well, for me, this year's kinda started with a similar thought process backed by some action - to let go off all those things which have been haunting my mind. Maybe those things / people aren't around, but they've been taking up a lot of mind-space and keep bothering every now and then - the worst part - they do no good! Sayonara to all of 'em.. Wish everyone a lot of new beginnings.. and happy future..

You may also want to read: Let go!

Time has no divisions

As another year passes by, and there's celebrations all around to welcome a new year - I'm struck by a quote by Thomas Mann I've just come across--

"Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.."

Well, that just tells me - that we're all in search of a time - moments - to make things anew, start things afresh, take another chance at it to make it better.. I wish we can do it all.. in the year of our Lord 2010.

Wishing you lot of happiness and love! Happy New year!