Why do we shout it anger?

Disclaimer: "This is not written by me. This came as a email forward and sharing cos I liked it." Should any content be objectionable, offensive or copyrighted - please write to me on manohr@gmail.com and it will be removed"

A saint who was visiting river Ganges to take a dip and found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled, 'n asked.

"Why do people in anger shout at each other?"
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, "because we lose our calm, we shout."
"But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner" asked the saint.
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained..

"When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance."

"What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small..."


The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper 'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other 'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other."
He looked at his disciples 'n said: "So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return."

Love finds a way back to each other...

Where promiscuity, commitment phobia, boredom with monogamy, open relations and adventures in partnership & sexual relations rule the roost and sporadically take new forms in our evolving societies across the world- there are other contradicting and special moments of impact which this movie portrays. Hope for the audience viewing this - this moment of impact doesn't leave too sketchy an impression on its viewers – rather wish it does make a defining impact that’s contagious.

So much for wishful thinking..! The movie claims to have its inspiration from a true story. Starting on an intimate moment between a husband and wife colliding with a mishap- the movie goes on a flashback of how they fell in love, their marriage and the vows they’ve professed. Both injured in the accident, the wife loses memory of past few years. That taking a toll on the husband emotionally, the rest of the movie is a tale about how the husband went on to live every word avowed in their marriage.

Before going ahead, here are the vows :)

• Paige (woman): I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.
• Leo (Man): I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in lifetime love. I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other.

Stuck to his impact making expression “How can you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?”, relentlessly - he tries to win his wife back through ways of love. And he does regain her, though she never regains her lost memory.

Not debating the fact of how much representation in the movie is in sync with real incidents- I just appreciate the spirit of love so well presented and enacted here by the reel-life couple. More admiration and cheers to the real-life couple!

For all those who resist the boredom, phobia, openness and above stated forms of adventures in relationships and are contemplating switching sides due to hardships in love.. Here’s the message from the movie: ‘Love will find a way back to each other. Keep giving.. and fiercely love your partner in all your forms – better or worse.’

P.S: The best love label I've watched after P.S. I love you.

How the moon looked on December 10th 2011

2^nd Lunar Eclipse this year..

How the moon looked on December 10^th 2011

Taken from my Canon P&S Camera.. J

--

Manohar

Corruption - Who'll tackle this bit?

When the nation was busy with country-wide protests, tug-of-war between Anna, Govt., and other political parties playing their ever-belittling opportunistic role.. here’s two instances of corruption I’ve faced and raises a question – Who will tackle this bit?

1. Traffic Police @ Bangalore – I own a Delhi registration bike. At the Bangalore central railway station, I was actually struggling to find the ‘parking’ spot and I stopped on a side of the road to turn, which would have been a wrong-side driving, however I didn’t turn. On reaching the parking area, a policeman helped me parked my bike - I thanked him for the gesture. After an hour, when I was exiting, the same policeman surprised me with a demand that I show my license and bike papers. On asking why, he tells me – I came in from a wrong side (an hour back). While I may have respected / adhered to his demand if he had been on the spot and stopped me there. On assertively and a slightly aggressive tone questioning the policeman – ‘What traffic checks he is doing inside a Parking area?’ and asking him to tell his name – he started stuttering.. On insisting to answer my questions and to tell his name, he slipped out. Needless to say he was not the only one in that area as I could spot another one in a distance within the same parking lot- perhaps doing the same act with someone else. It’s a known fact that these people not only harness the ignorance of many others who come,  but also attempt to make money by confusing and scaring people with their police-wear (uniform/ wardi), especially the ones who seem not to know the language / or look new in the area. I am sure that this is not only a case of Bangalore but as many cities across India where no one stands up and questions these foul officials! 
2. Retail shops at Bangalore, Delhi, Chennai, All cities’ Bus stands, Railway Stations: Every commodity purchased at these areas in all cities, all tiers, has to cost maximum retail price (MRP) +Rs. 2 and above.. And believe me, you better not say this 'that you'll report to police about this' to any shopkeeper and make a mockery of yourself. You just cannot address this to any policeman anywhere around..cos they're not just the beneficiaries of this loot, but also integral part making this money supply chain even stronger.  I thought this was only a syndrome in Delhi, until I started traveling across to Bangalore, between Bangalore-Chennai, then Hyderabad.. The highest of such mark-up price over the MRP I have witnessed was in Tirupathi – of Rs. +5/-. Well, don't forget that this ranges across commodities.

There are umpteen such things I'd come across recently which I don't want to elaborate, but a few instances:

• Railway / Bus (Govt RTC) Reservations, where TC (Ticket collectors), RCs (Reservation clerks), Bus conductors will take even a Rs. 20/- till upto Rs. 150/- to help get a reservation. While that being the normal rates. The rates apparently go up to a Rs. 500/- to even thousands during festival seasons and other peak seasons.. 
• License Departments (Govt) - Leave the touts aside.. The inspector who needs to do test drives, who insists on expediting ppl who can test on the car he has arranged - for which ppl need to pay Rs. 100/- and makes everyone who brings in their own car stand in a long line, which god only knows till what unlimited time their turn might come.
• Petrol Stations/ Bunks - Where the happy-go-lucky guy who comes to fill in petrol, will even keep a few paise off from quoted amount as if he's saving a great deal. And please, it's not about losing a few paise, but the underlying attitude at work about cutting corners and making money.. 

These are just a very few handful of incidents, and I am sure, there are hundreds of such things we all come across, some noticed, some conspicuously ignored, some unnoticed.

Wonder how these things take a toll on the lower-middle class and below folks; with food inflation anyways hitting the common man’s life and more!

Where is this bit of corruption being addressed is the question? Unmistakably many people, illiterate, educated, uneducated, illuminated included may not have been able to address this bit in so many years even after independence.

Well, Anna's not coming to help us in these places! Let's at least create a wave of awareness across with everyone we come by so that everyone can Stand up and make a difference!

Silent workers - diamonds without a sparkle

If you don't sparkle, you're not a diamond. You're not performing either if it's not visible!

Diamonds coated in coal are really not picked up! And, so are these silent performers at work not really recognized. It’s like this— think of a family of two children, where both parents are working and yes, add all the other busy-ness around running a family and catching up with other things in life.. ·

• One kid is a very vocal, throws demands at folks, fussy about what he gets and all..·
• The second kid, is a calm, collected, not-so-vocal all the time sorts..

Who do you think gets the most attention? Well, if I have your guesses right – it’s the vocal kid. Does that mean that that the composed kid doesn’t have needs, or that he’s never shared any of his needs at all? Absolutely not!

In the corporate world that’s exactly how things operate. Given all the ‘attributed’ professionalism and maturity that people display, processes and procedures implemented, how interventions and control mechanisms are in place to address issues— people are too busy with umpteen things demanding their attention to really even think that the calm, composed team member really has something which needs as much a devoted attention just as the other things/ people demand.

There’s a term in the corporate world to describe such people – ‘ the silent worker’. These are the ones who are good / high performers in every team who choose not to verbalize their feelings every now and then, however, make themselves heard when necessary and make it count. But, with all the pressures, these days, a manager’s span of attention only lasts as long as the team member is vocal—the precedent set by such behavior is indeed sad. With the cognitive abilities all humans are blessed with, on reaching a certain level of tenure / hierarchy / maturity in the system – all employees not only become extremely perceptive, but also develop sharp—may be fallible, but a sharp sense of judgment. The result—losing out a solid citizen (the silent worker) in your team.

Reminds me of one of the famous Gallup’s employee engagement survey – Q12 question— About having someone who cares for you at work. When people answer 'No', please note that it's not that there's really no one to care, but talking of Recency effect— the employee is questioning what care s/he received at work that left a lasting impression?

Answer this: What is actively engaging care, if not care for one’s career at workplace?

P.S.: In principle, I really do not agree that in a familial situation, the silent kid doesn not receive attention.

Test of endurance...

Heard of the story of a caterpillar, which did not make it through the process of metamorphosis? You know why it failed? Apparently, a person sitting in the lawn noticed the caterpillar struggling it's way through.. and out of the kindness of his heart, tried to help it by slightly cutting open the cocoon/ chrysalis. Don't know if the caterpillar would have or wouldn't have made it's way through. But, the person certainly did no good to the caterpillar, which would have been one of the most enchanting colorful butterflies!

This also is very common among the human species.. Some are very kind.. especially toward loved ones.. We would at times want to shower so much love, that it might even kill the other one. Death by love, ha! Doesn't sound nice, anyways.. It's a common belief that 'survival of the fittest' is a jungle law is not applicable  the human species.. but matter of the fact proves otherwise..

We all have our tests of endurance from time to time, and that's our metamorphosis process. Some fail, some succeed, and the ones that succeed certainly are adorned with success, a charming and glowing personality in unique ways...

When it comes to your loved ones, who's going through such a test of endurance. Be loving; loving enough not to shower so much kindness lest you hinder the caterpillar from coming out with flying colors.. That's a lesson that I learned.. and I share it.. not that someone didn't know.. but just reminding it.. as my friend Manoj Albert did remind me.

Relationships & The Great Expectations Theory!

'Expectations', my friend Ashish Chandel, while we sat at a Bar some 6 years ago said, "are the key to all problems. We expect, and then when they are not met we get disappointed" he continued... "Do not expect," was the concluding suggestion he made.

I, like most of you, had an opinion about it. My opinion about expectations though at first was as AShish's was further refined by three things:

1. First, the Christian teaching that we should not owe anything to anyone except love.
2. Second, the Services Marketing Management Service gaps analysis that overpromising and underdelivering leads to customer dissatisfaction, delivering what is promised leads to customer satisfaction, and underpromising and overdelivering leads to customer delight!
3. Third, the personal experiences - application, errors and learnings!

I keep having these conversations about expectations with almost all of my dear friends, cos they too come to realize the same fact. And here's what I advise- "It's not only about not expecting! Rather, expect worse! So, when it comes to pass, when it's not as worse as you'd expected, it'll help you be in a neutral state if not in a delightful state of mind."

A friend recently questioned this saying, it's important for anyone in a relationship to be fair. And it's fair to expect from someone with whom you're in a relationship. It's like opening a Pandora's box and never-ending to start talking about all those details in relationships - which mostly are made of so many little things that make big impact. I absolutely agree with the statement that one must be fair at all times! 

Fairness is an equation to manage! Be fair to others, try to set the right expectations - you have a choice there - you can set some expectations and give less, give exact or give more! Meet expectations - do unto them as you would have them do to you (only the good stuff)! 

When you expect something, expect as minimal as possible, be prepared for the worst.. do not expect so much that if the favor's not returned, or when it's rather returned with less enthusiasm, you end up in an emotional turmoil. That's being fair to yourself! 

Lord, grant that we

Lord, grant that we may hear You speak; For truth within our hearts we seek.. odb

Consumed with thoughts...

Consumed with thoughts! Emotions held up, barricaded! Expressions limited! Till when?!? The day it breaks loose, it'll gush forth like a raging tide... showing no mercy... it'll destroy like jealousy that knows no bounds... it'll end in cracks.. it'll end in tears.. bitterness... it'll end in destruction.. it'll consume everything, my all! I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No I don't want to express a thing! No whimper, nor whisper. No voice, no utterances. No speech, not a word, no pen to paper. No verbalization of thoughts! No touch, no song to make me cry... No tear to shed, cos there's none left of a heart to break... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No, I am not OK! You know it, yet you choose to ask. I am already confounded, you confound me more. You put my heart and mind at a thorough battle. The conflict's renewed everyday. Reason departs from me.. It's hopeless... I want to call it quits.. but I trust in the power of love, hope's afloat.. I am confounded with thoughts!!!

I don't see the spark in our conversations.. no hope in your eyes... no charm in your touch. Your voice doesn't carry your love to me anymore.. Your hands don't reach out to me... to hold me close, draw me near... I do not understand.. Is it not worth a try... I want to try... Something's vanished! As I try to figure it out.... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

Love.. I can only give.. I cannot take what you can't give.. I don't need what you can't offer... but I can give.. Even through a conflict I will give.. Tis my pleasure, my joy.. I see that smile you wear.. I know I was making it for you.. I had much to do with it.. I want it to be mine.. I want you to be mine.. but, what's not offered to me can’t be mine.. I fail to understand... I’m down with thoughts…

Soon enough you'll be gone.. Not for me, for yourself.. You'll take away all you have.. you have no memory saved of you and me.. but, can you take away yourself from my heart? That you cannot.. that you’re not allowed… what of the impressions you left that will show? I’m so lost in thoughts…

Your marks have faded away.. are you fading slowly too? Is this it? Can you blot out your image from our past? No you can’t, Nah! You trod without a bother.. now everything’s a matter… but you have left more than marks.. Disquietude remains—no leftovers of love… O will I ever see them again? Will I ever have the bliss? Will I ever have you? I’m so lost without you…

I won't be angry! I'll not show you that side of me.. I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve... I will not… I’m consumed with thoughts.. I'm thinking of you.. I want you.. and I don’t want you… I'm divided, I’m contradicted! But if I had to – I’d seize the moment, I’d secure you… never let you go..

Oh.. if there was any other way.. I’d put to rest all that wasn’t you.. to live life fullest with you.. could’ve celebrated forever you..! Would’ve made life extra-ordinary.. I don't want to be caught up with ‘you - of the past’. I want it recreated.. today.. I want the present.. I want the present - you! And I won’t be consumed anymore!

Consumed with thoughts...

Consumed with thoughts! Emotions held up, barricaded! Expressions limited! Till when?!? The day it breaks loose, it'll gush forth like a raging tide... showing no mercy... it'll destroy like jealousy that knows no bounds... it'll end in cracks.. it'll end in tears.. bitterness... it'll end in destruction.. it'll consume everything, my all! I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No I don't want to express a thing! No whimper, nor whisper. No voice, no utterances. No speech, not a word, no pen to paper. No verbalization of thoughts! No touch, no song to make me cry... No tear to shed, cos there's none left of a heart to break... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

No, I am not OK! You know it, yet you choose to ask. I am already confounded, you confound me more. You put my heart and mind at a thorough battle. The conflict's renewed everyday. Reason departs from me.. It's hopeless... I want to call it quits.. but I trust in the power of love, hope's afloat.. I am confounded with thoughts!!!

I don't see the spark in our conversations.. no hope in your eyes... no charm in your touch. Your voice doesn't carry your love to me anymore.. Your hands don't reach out to me... to hold me close, draw me near... I do not understand.. Is it not worth a try... I want to try... Something's vanished! As I try to figure it out.... I'm consumed with thoughts!!!

Love.. I can only give.. I cannot take what you can't give.. I don't need what you can't offer... but I can give.. Even through a conflict I will give.. Tis my pleasure, my joy.. I see that smile you wear.. I know I was making it for you.. I had much to do with it.. I want it to be mine.. I want you to be mine.. but, what's not offered to me can’t be mine.. I fail to understand... I’m down with thoughts…

Soon enough you'll be gone.. Not for me, for yourself.. You'll take away all you have.. you have no memory saved of you and me.. but, can you take away yourself from my heart? That you cannot.. that you’re not allowed… what of the impressions you left that will show? I’m so lost in thoughts…

Thank thee Lord, for my father

Thank thee Lord,

For the sheer presence of my father

The strength that he sports ever

The shelter that stands always stronger

The warm wings that hold us dearer

If some worth in me appears to be

The honour to him all be

Words to thank him, I have none

Proud smiles for him, I have won

Thank thee Lord,

For the wisdom he shares

The great strains he bears

The sheer person that he is

For in him, I see the person in you,

Because of him, I love you!

(In the pic: Mom & Dad with my new born nephew - Blesson)
Nominated this post on www.blogadda.com for the Father's day contest. 
Below is a Pringoo merchandise of my choice...

Of storms and good weather

For some to enjoy good weather, some will have to face the storm..

'Cyclone Laila has left coastal Andhra in tatters', said the newspapers. I've been watching news about it since 2 days and it has killed 16 people. I logged to facebook in the afternoon, and a friend tweeted 'enjoying the great weather'. This friend lived about hundred kilometers away. It was such a paradox - suffering on side, joy on the other. The impact of storm is so light where my friend lived - that it was pleasing weather.


How similar is it for life situations? When we were children - our parents would face the storms so that we would be far away from the impact and rather enjoy what's going on. When it comes to teenage/ adulthood - someone will have to compromise or sacrifice so that many others can enjoy, be happier... 


Living is certainly a balancing act - of bearing the brunt of a storm or enjoying the good weather!

Comfortable with distractions!?!

Distractions.. there have been many of them.. and I've been finding comfort in them - now wonder I haven't been on my blog though I've been wishing to write since so long..

Just had a little skirmish with a friend over the distraction he wanted; and that is when I realized how irritating it is when someone gets distracted while you wanted them to do something. Nobody likes getting distracted and it leads to personal regret as well. In fact - we all have the tendency to make all the merry while distracted - and then - be lost in childish grief when one realizes how distracted s/he was! However, I realize that sometimes distractions can't be wished away and some are even wished for - but it's important to know they always don't have to bring a negative impact.

Some distractions just take us away with a hearty approval - and mine have often kept me away from many close friends to achieving short-term goals, from timely completion of assignments to leading a bad lifestyle among others - and of course a lot of time wasted. But, look at the positive side - I've made new friends, tried out new stuff, fell in and out of few passions and more.. As I trace my steps back - I want to shake off all distractions, while a few add-ons remain - the positive strokes.

Are you caught up in distraction too? If yes, be determined to trace your steps back remember -what matters in the end is if you let the distractions confound your goals; or if you want to shake it off and resolve it.